Clik here to view.
American Voices: Report: CIA Paid Psychologists $81 Million For Ineffective...
The Senate Intelligence Committee’s recently released report on the use of torture on terror suspects after 9/11 revealed that the agency paid two military psychologists $81 million to devise and carry...
View ArticleSportsgraphic: New Rules In The NFL’s Updated Personal Conduct Policy
Following a spate of high-profile domestic violence cases involving the likes of Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, the NFL officially ratified a new personal conduct policy this week for all players and...
View ArticleSlideshow: Top Guitar Tabs We Learned In 2014
Top Guitar Tabs We Learned In 2014 The post Slideshow: Top Guitar Tabs We Learned In 2014 appeared first on JoRoNoMo.
View ArticleAmerican Voices: Columbia Law School Allowing Students Distressed Over...
The interim dean of Columbia Law School announced that students who reported being traumatized or disturbed by the American legal system after the non-indictments of officers Darren Wilson and Daniel...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Onion’s Person Of The Year 2014
When The Onion’s editorial board convened to determine its Person of the Year for 2014, the members of our selection committee were in agreement that identifying the individual most worthy of this...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Schlubs From U.S., China Meet In Lowest-Level Talks
BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA—In an effort to strengthen diplomatic ties between the global superpowers’ most oafish representatives, sources confirmed Thursday that schlubs from the United States and China met...
View ArticleAmerican Voices: Convicted Sex Offender Wins $3 Million Florida Lottery
After Florida man Timothy Poole won $3 million from a scratch-off lottery ticket and posed in a photo with his check, internet users and authorities recognized him as a convicted sex offender who has...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Family Receives 38-Piece AstraZeneca Assorted Pill Sampler
ALPHARETTA, GA—Gathering around the kitchen table to pick out their favorites, all four members of the Johnson household eagerly dug into a 38-piece AstraZeneca pill sampler that they received as a...
View ArticleSlideshow: Top 10 Apps Of 2014
Top 10 Apps Of 2014 The post Slideshow: Top 10 Apps Of 2014 appeared first on JoRoNoMo.
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sportsgraphic: Fantasy Football Week 15: Start ’Em, Sit ’Em
Onion Sports has expert analysis on which players to keep and which players to drop from your fantasy football starting lineup this week: Start ’Em Johnny Manziel (QB): Manziel is finally showing the...
View ArticleOpinion: I Don’t See Race; I Only See Grayish-Brown, Vaguely Humanoid Shapes...
By Janice Ketchum The post Opinion: I Don’t See Race; I Only See Grayish-Brown, Vaguely Humanoid Shapes (by Janice Ketchum) appeared first on JoRoNoMo.
View ArticleClik here to view.
Athlete’s Heartwarming Story Fucking Sucks
BUFFALO, NY—Sources from across the nation confirmed Friday that the heartwarming story of Buffalo Bills scout team player Marcus Newsome, a 31-year-old linebacker who realized his NFL dream five years...
View ArticleSlideshow: Those We Lost in 2014
Those We Lost in 2014 The post Slideshow: Those We Lost in 2014 appeared first on JoRoNoMo.
View ArticleInfographic: How Police Are Revamping Their Tactics
In the wake of widespread protests against police brutality and discrimination, law enforcement departments across the country are instituting new rules and policies to ensure safer practices. The post...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mom Gathers Rolls Of Wrapping Paper Around Her To Stroke Softly
OAKWOOD, OH—Tenderly cooing as she basked in the comforting sight of snowman, Santa, and Christmas tree patterns, local mother Melissa Weaver surrounded herself with a dozen rolls of wrapping paper to...
View Article[video] The Onion Reviews ‘The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies’
The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies ' in this week's Film Standard. The post [video] The Onion Reviews ‘The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five...
View ArticleInfographic: Avoiding Family Conflict During The Holiday Season
The holidays are supposed to be a festive time, but when families gather together, arguments and negativity often threaten to spoil the occasion. The post Infographic: Avoiding Family Conflict During...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Family Knows Better Than To Fall For Mom’s Little Bullshit Speech About No...
RICHMOND, VA—Saying that several of them had learned the hard way, members of the Gordon family confirmed to reporters Friday that they knew damn well not to believe Mom’s little bullshit speech about...
View ArticleInfographic: How To Navigate The Holidays Alone
While many people will be gathering with family and friends this holiday season to eat, drink, and be merry, others may not have anyone with whom to celebrate the festivities. The post Infographic: How...
View ArticleClik here to view.
This is Why Japan is Making America Look Bad
Source: kazufuji I realize there are bigger issues for scientists to tackle than yogurt technology, but dammit, Japan is making us look bad. Listen up, Yoplait, your lids SUCK. Rarely can I remove the...
View Article